Story, Week 11
Looking Back
As Julia sat on the big comfy
chair by the foggy window in the coffee shop she took in everything. It was a
normal New York afternoon, cloudy skies, a brisk breeze, and the sky looked as
if it was about open up heavy rains on the city. In this moment, Julia could
not be more content. She was looking out on her favorite city while sipping the
best latte. She thought to herself, “my life is perfect, I cannot
believe I almost missed out on this”.
Julia thought back to a year
ago when she refused to move to New York City because she was afraid and did
not think she would be successful. She remembered arguing with her parents and
telling them that they had no business in where she lived and that they should
stop pressuring her to move. Julia almost let out a small giggle because she
was so silly to think that this move would have been anything but beneficial.
When Julia first arrived in
New York, she was really here for the inspiration that this big city would
bring to her writing. She used this inspiration and it has truly benefitted her
writing. Her boss has promoted her and is also helping her begin her next
novel.
Julia’s
thoughts again move back to her parents and about how if they had not pushed
her and encouraged her to move away, none of these great things would have
happened to her. She really feels like if she would not have had the
encouragement from her parents to move here, she would feel out of place and
would not be near as successful as she is here. Julia truly feels at home here
in New York and she gets even more happy as she sees her friends come through
the door to share an afternoon cup of coffee together.
Author's Note: This story is based off of How the Turtle Saved His Own Life by Ellen C. Babbitt. I used this story because I feel like my character, Julia saved her own life in her move to New York City.
Hi Bailey! I think that the way you decided to retell this story was really creative and unique! During spring break I just traveled to New York for the first time so that was fun to read through your story and think about the trip I just took. This story is really refreshing and a super easy read. I think you have done a great job here. Good luck in the rest of your semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Bailey! Like Chelsea, I really enjoyed the way you wrote this story. New York is my favorite place in the world, so reading your story made me happy and helped me to reminisce on my time spent there. I think that you could strengthen your story by adding more dialogue. Although it was simple and easy to read, dialogue would help your visions for your story come to life! Great job!
ReplyDeleteHello again Bailey! This story was so relatable. I've been thinking about moving to Dallas once I graduate, however, unlike Julia, my parents actually want me to stay with them. I'm also a little scared to move since I've never lived very far away from my family. I like how you added imagery into your story. I'm a little confused about how she saved her own life by moving to New York though but I do like how you made it connect to the original story.
ReplyDeleteHi Bailey!
ReplyDeleteThis was very descriptive, and you painted a picture of her thoughts very nicely. I was a little unsure of the plot though, as it felt very much like an introduction to events about to occur. Perhaps a little conflict, or maybe more elaboration on the worries she had before moving could emphasize why she was so much happier here. This has a lot of potential, but, like Chandni said, I want to know how her life was in danger (or was it her sanity, or hopes, or dreams rather)? This could give a little more heft to the story, possibly by letting the readers see her worst fears of what could happen if she stayed behind.
Hi Bailey,
ReplyDeleteI thought you did a great job at making this story relatable and real. I think you did a great job at describing what and where she was going. I think it is a cute little story and now I want a cup of coffee and I want to sit by the window drinking it. I think you did a great job.
Hi Bailey great job on the story! The story is a lot different from the original, but you have changed it in a way that a lot of college students can relate to. The wording that you used set the scene really well and made me feel like I was in the in coffee shop with her. Great job on your story I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteHello again Bailey! I like how you took the story "How the Turtle Saved His Own Life" and made it more relatable for the students in this class. Trying to relate with animals for some of these stories doesn't always work for me. Do you have any interest in living in New York, or did you just pick that city at random?
ReplyDeleteHey Bailey,
ReplyDeleteYour story was a very relaxed one! Your detailing of New York was very good and I can definitely picture it! (I was there over Winter Break and all those adjectives felt very correct). I liked how her story was her contemplating her past for most of it. Doing so seemed to create an implicit story between that point in time to the present and you could glimpse the story in between through her introspection. Great story!
Hey Bailey! I cannot say how much I loved this story! It was such a creative idea to set the story in New York, it seems very fitting when you think about it. When I first read a story, it is hard to imagine it in another setting. Overall, great job! I will be interested in seeing how this fits into your project!
ReplyDeleteHi Bailey. I really liked this story; it was a very calming way to spend my Saturday afternoon. I wish I felt as content as Julia feels with my life. I’ve only been to New York once, but it was a fascinating city, and if you can get past the rent, I’m sure a lot of people feel the same way as Julia feels!
ReplyDelete