Week 4 Story: The Fall of Vernazza
Author's Note: I have rewritten the story, Vali's Death provided by PDE Ramayana.
The Fall of Vernazza
Long ago in the rolling hills of the Tuscan countryside there was a thriving kingdom. This kingdom was known for its fair leaders. Together, two brothers ruled equally over their Kingdom, Vernazza. In Vernazza, the villagers lived plain, modest lives. They all worked together and were happy to help one another on a daily basis. No one in Vernazza really had a lot, but they were rich in happiness and love. They had been taught throughout their entire lives that there was no other way for them to treat one another other than with their utmost love.
This utopia had continued for centuries without any conflict or issue. Even the brothers who ruled in Vernazza were kindhearted and there was never any worry of war or conflict within the walls of their beloved Kingdom.
Like I said, they had lived in peace for centuries... until one evening, on a day that had been warmer than usual, at twilight, a young maiden who was not from Vernazza sauntered up the walk right to the castle which housed both young rulers. This maiden was beautiful. The moonlight was bouncing off of her olive toned skin and her dark hair was glimmering radiantly. She was dressed in a wonderfully made traveling dress that was freshly tattered at the ends. Because this night was particularly warm, the two brothers were seated outside in the garden near a wading pool in attempts to keep cool. As they saw this young maiden walking up the path, they each quickly rose from their sitting position and approached her.
Her name was Isabella and she was the daughter of a King from a few kingdoms over. She had been traveling when her carriage was disconnected from her horses and she was stranded at the Vernazza gates. She asked the two brothers if she could stay here until she could get word to her father and they both immediately agreed and escorted her to the most lovely room in the whole palace.
After closing the door to her room, in unison, the men both said, "I must have her". After these words were uttered, the two brothers knew nothing would ever be the same, for each man knew that he was willing to die to have this young, fair maiden.
The Village of Vernazza
The Fall of Vernazza
Long ago in the rolling hills of the Tuscan countryside there was a thriving kingdom. This kingdom was known for its fair leaders. Together, two brothers ruled equally over their Kingdom, Vernazza. In Vernazza, the villagers lived plain, modest lives. They all worked together and were happy to help one another on a daily basis. No one in Vernazza really had a lot, but they were rich in happiness and love. They had been taught throughout their entire lives that there was no other way for them to treat one another other than with their utmost love.
This utopia had continued for centuries without any conflict or issue. Even the brothers who ruled in Vernazza were kindhearted and there was never any worry of war or conflict within the walls of their beloved Kingdom.
Like I said, they had lived in peace for centuries... until one evening, on a day that had been warmer than usual, at twilight, a young maiden who was not from Vernazza sauntered up the walk right to the castle which housed both young rulers. This maiden was beautiful. The moonlight was bouncing off of her olive toned skin and her dark hair was glimmering radiantly. She was dressed in a wonderfully made traveling dress that was freshly tattered at the ends. Because this night was particularly warm, the two brothers were seated outside in the garden near a wading pool in attempts to keep cool. As they saw this young maiden walking up the path, they each quickly rose from their sitting position and approached her.
Her name was Isabella and she was the daughter of a King from a few kingdoms over. She had been traveling when her carriage was disconnected from her horses and she was stranded at the Vernazza gates. She asked the two brothers if she could stay here until she could get word to her father and they both immediately agreed and escorted her to the most lovely room in the whole palace.
After closing the door to her room, in unison, the men both said, "I must have her". After these words were uttered, the two brothers knew nothing would ever be the same, for each man knew that he was willing to die to have this young, fair maiden.
The Village of Vernazza
I really liked the cliff hanger at the end of the story. You could have easily just quickly summed up what was going to happen, or continue the story, but instead you ended it early, casting the future in doubt. That's always nice to be left guessing, creating your own ending in your head. I also really liked the flow of your story, it was really easy to read and follow.
ReplyDeleteHi Bailey!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story, “The Fall of Vernazza” I also thought the image you included really complements your story. I liked how you ended your story with some uncertainty, that way its up to the reader to interpret what happened. Overall, I think you did a great job at creating a new interesting story and I can’t wait to see what you do next week!
Hey Bailey,
ReplyDeleteThe way you created an entirely knew story all while keeping the same premise as the original was amazing. How you described the maiden in the night, using a large amount of description, really set up exactly how beautiful this woman was. Then after the two brothers bring her in, leaving the reader to wonder what happened after they both presented the desire to have her was a great way to end this great story.
Hi Bailey! I love how you took the story of the fall of Vali and incorporated a new element to make it your own story! I am currently trying out how to best do that with my project and I found your stories very insightful! One thing that I think would be really cool is to include more int he author's notes about how this might relate to us as college students. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHey Bailey! Great job with your story, The Fall of Vernazza. Like others have said, I too liked the cliff hanger at the end. It keeps the reader interested in the story and looking for more, which is likely to draw them back again! As far as the author's note goes, it would be nice for your to expand upon that and let us know about your inspiration for the story.
ReplyDeleteHi Bailey! I love your take on the story "The Fall of Vernazza" and how you changed the setting! It makes the story so much different than the original version! Your stories are different and unique with your own twists. What inspired you to change the setting of the story? Was it a vacation or another experience? The ending was different and sort of a cliffhanger which I really enjoy in story tellings!
ReplyDelete